I set myself free.

According to the ancient scriptures, the victory over our emotions or “indriyajayam” is regarded as graduating to spiritual greatness. I have always wondered if that is all about becoming beyond everything that is human or just learning to be corpse and living the afterlife before death.

Laughter is my favourite. I laugh out loud, even among a strange crowd. There is an indescribable pleasure to let out happiness and joy that fills me. The waves of laughter seems reflecting back to me from the walls around, doubling the feeling of happiness.

Love comes second; I constantly remind my Mother and Grandmother that they are the most important. Even though it requires some amount of intoxication, I tell my friends that life would be truly dry without them. There is a best friend of mine, who has to undergo the torture of picking up my phone call in the middle of the night to listen to my random thoughts and nonsense about our friendship.

I remember telling my first crush that I loved her. She has ignored my existence ever since. Even though it was a disaster, I told her about it, and best of all, I discovered drinking.

It’s been a long time that I have wept; it is either due to my obsession to project a smiling face or my disinclination to announce my sadness. I educe my childhood when it used to be my weapon to get what I wanted and get away with something.

After most of those crying sessions sitting in the comfort of mother’s, grandparent’s or a loving teacher’s lap, I used to taste the traces of the dried stream of tears by protruding my tongue to all the part of my cheeks which I could manage to reach. The saltiness was perfect, like the salted lemonade that quenches your thirst on a summer afternoon; it gave a sudden relief to my mind that was longing to shatter like a glass vase kept on the brink of the table.

It’s magical, how each of the emotions plays an equally important role in our lives. How we often long to express our emotions of love, anger, sadness, lust and happiness. These emotions are gateways, doors that set the locked up mind free. Emotions which remain unexpressed never exist. When you don’t swear at a person who behaved inappropriately, it means that you don’t feel angry at all. When you don’t remind people that you love them, it means that you don’t love them at all. It is as simple as that.